1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
I think i peed on brittanys purse
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
Randomize
