i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
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