worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
Randomize
