the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
