I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
