You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
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