It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
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