Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Randomize
