its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
