So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Randomize
