Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
