If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
Don't tell me you're on acid again
Randomize
