I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
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