in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
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