DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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