I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
Randomize
