Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
My life is pants optional.
Randomize
