On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
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