How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Randomize
