Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Randomize
