I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
