i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
Randomize
