based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
no you cant smoke seaweed
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
Randomize
