YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
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