u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
Is it penis luge time yet?
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
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