At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Randomize
