I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
