just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
Randomize
