Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
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