ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
Randomize
