My friends, they love my intelligence
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
Randomize
