the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Randomize
