can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
...so i touched it.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Randomize
