This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
Randomize
