i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize
