Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
Randomize
