Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
