At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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