i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
its liver damage thursday
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
Randomize
