I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
Randomize
