I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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