Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
Randomize
