You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
Randomize
