when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
