You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
Randomize
