I'm gonna have a badass scar
Did you just see the Batmobile???
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
Randomize
