so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
