I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
Randomize
