Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Randomize
