you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
being pregnant is like rehab
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
